I think it went away
I love you
why don’t you let me exist
I love you
let me out
I just want out
cmon
I just want food
I’m hungry
Really fuckin scared, man. Real scared.
I don’t know what monster is anymore
and it’s getting out of hand.
I don’t know how to make anyone believe me but I need help.
I need to do something.
It’s affecting my personal decisions
it’s affecting the way I dress.
It’s consuming me.
I feel power.
Confidence, even.
But it’s scary because it’s
overwhelming.
just
overwhelming power.
It scares me and takes over me and I don’t know why I feel it but it’s strong
and it’s
it’s affecting me.
It’s taking over me.
I want the things it wants.
I don’t know who I am anymore.
But at this rate
I’ll do something horrible and I will love it.
Things are changing.
I am becoming monster.
Let me explain a few things:
Oliver is the one who has written everything in this blog.
Oly is oliver’s happier, more daring side.
Bolly is another person. He’s a daring kid and loves to take risks. He’s wild.
Bolly is Oliver and Oly put together.
Monster is something very separated from Oliver and Bolly.
Monster is what has been a part of me since birth,
Monster is who I was when I was 11, squeezing a child’s arm until she started
crying.
Monster is who I was when I enjoyed torturing small animals at the same age.
I was monster when I planned to kill those who did me harm.
Monster is the one who laughs when I am dripping in despair.
I am not exaggerating..please believe me..please.
It’s just one of my problems- I am brutally honest, and people don’t believe me.
They don’t understand that I mean everything I say too much.
That’s not common, so it’s difficult for them to believe/understand.
